It started on Friday night.
I felt contractions. I had been feeling them for a while at this point, but these were consistent, they were getting closer, and they were getting stronger.
We called a friend to come stay with the kids, I packed my bag (last minute planner over here) and we set off for the hospital.
They checked me into a triage room and monitored me for a few hours. 3cm dilated and no progress in that time, so home I went.
I spent all day Saturday resting as best I could to get them to pass.
Around 8pm they came on STRONG. They completely caught me off guard. I was moaning in pain, it scared Ada and our rescue pup, Wrigley.
These, I knew were the real deal. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t walk. I took two warm baths to get them to go away, and yet they stuck around.
I knew I was going to meet my baby soon.
We waited until after 11pm to go in, my friend (who is amazing) came back over and stayed with the kids and off we went.
They checked us in, put us into a room and hooked me up to the monitors. Sure enough, I was having contractions but 2 hours later and then 4 hours later I was only 4 centimeters dilated.
I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t breathe. I was gritting my teeth in pain, yet no progress.
They ALMOST sent me home AGAIN! The doctor told the nurses I could walk for an hour until he got there and he would check me again.
Y’all- that was the longest hour of my LIFE. I was stopping to roll my hips and squat and moan. I felt like livestock.
The doctor came in and checked me and in that hour I had gone from 4cm to 7cm. They officially admitted me, gave me my epidural and within another two hours I met my boy.
Westley Carsten Kubicki was born on Sunday, July 30 at 9:26am.
He weighed 6lbs 4oz and was 19 1/4 inches long.
This birth was everything I needed it to be.
Although I had an epidural, it wasn’t enough to completely numb me. I could still wiggle my toes, move my knees, and slightly feel my contractions.
At first it was something that worried me, but now? Now I wish every birth could have been the same. I felt him move lower, I felt when it was time to push, I could feel him being brought into this world. My goodness, it was beautiful. It was the first of my three births that the water was clear, so it was the first of my three births that Jay was able to cut the cord. They were able to hand him to me right away rather than take him away to check his airway like my previous births. I was able to hold him right away, I almost didn’t want them to dry him off- I wanted to savor every moment of the gift of birth I was just blessed with. As soon as Westley was placed in my arms his crying stopped.
I covered him in kisses and gazed at him through salty tear filled eyes. Instantly so in love.
The life I have felt grow and move inside of me for the last 9 months was here. And every inch of him is sweet perfection.
Its completely bittersweet.
I couldn’t wait for him to be here.
I am also so heartbroken to know I will never again feel life growing inside me.
This was my last first time holding my baby, my last first skin to skin moment, my last first time laying eyes on someone I will love forever.
I am going to hold him too often. I am going to smother him in too many kisses. I am going to “spoil” him with too much love.
I am going to kiss every boo boo, snuggle him after every bad dream.
I’m going to love him the way I promised him I would as I rubbed my belly those late nights he kept me awake with his kicks.
My last baby, my sweet boy.